I don’t know how to play guitar.

Let’s get the boring resumé stuff out of the way. I’m a speaker, writer, content therapist and brand storyteller. After years in the agency world, I now work for myself, with a small portfolio of inspiring clients who are solving real problems, not imagined ones.

Now, let’s talk shop. We’re obsessed with the idea of personal growth, but only when it follows a script. The neat arc. The before-and-after. The glow-up—as long as it follows a very particular set of unspoken rules.

But real change doesn’t look like that. Real change is waking up and realizing you were an asshole yesterday and probably shouldn’t be an asshole today. It’s cringing at past versions of yourself and pushing yourself to change. It’s knowing you hurt people and sitting with your own bad behavior, so you only learn those lessons once. It’s breaking your own heart in private. It’s looking at the life you built, the identity you claimed, and thinking, “Oh no. I don’t want this anymore.”

But change is also waking up one morning and realizing you don’t hate yourself anymore. It’s catching your reflection and recognizing the person looking back. It’s suddenly laughing at something that used to break you. It’s finding proof—quiet, undeniable proof—that you are not who you used to be.

It’s being so grateful that life didn’t go the way you once begged for. It’s the people who stayed. The ones who showed up. The moment you realize that love, real love, the kind that sees you and stays anyway, has been waiting for you to finally notice it.

It’s discovering you are capable of more than you ever gave yourself credit for. It’s looking at the road ahead—uncertain, unmarked—and thinking, for the first time, I’m actually excited to see what happens next.

I’m not here to tie everything up in a neat little bow for you. Life is messy, but the messy middle is where the real work gets done. I’m also not pretending to have all the answers. My hope here is that I can remind those of you who need it that you’re not broken, disappointing, or a failure for being yourself, for falling down, for speaking up, for being different. But you also need to get off your ass and get to work.